The definition of refined is ‘with impurities or unwanted elements having been removed by processing. Purified, treated, developed, and proved.’
In Proverbs 17:3, the Passion Translation says ‘In the same way that gold and silver are purified by fire. The Lord purifies your heart by the tests and the trials of life.’ Friends, what refining is God trying to do in your life today? Going through refinement isn’t easy, but with God, nothing is wasted. He will carry you through every trial, and bring you out better than before!
We hope that this episode will meet you right where you’re at and breathe fresh life into your situation. You are not alone! Be blessed!
Episode Highlights:
Links Mentioned in Episode/Find More on Purpose Beyond Motherhood and Twelve 12 Ministries :
The definition of refined is ‘with impurities or unwanted elements having been removed by processing. Purified, treated, developed, and proved.’
In Proverbs 17:3, the Passion Translation says ‘In the same way that gold and silver are purified by fire. The Lord purifies your heart by the tests and the trials of life.’ Friends, what refining is God trying to do in your life today? Going through refinement isn’t easy, but with God, nothing is wasted. He will carry you through every trial, and bring you out better than before!
We hope that this episode will meet you right where you’re at and breathe fresh life into your situation. You are not alone! Be blessed!
Episode Highlights:
Links Mentioned in Episode/Find More on Purpose Beyond Motherhood and Twelve 12 Ministries :
00:00.00
Holly
Is it happening right now.
00:02.33
twelve12ministries
It's happening right now. Holly ah.
00:05.76
Holly
Oh shoot hi everyone hey ladies we are so glad you're joining us today. Um, and we're back and I'm just praying that the lord fills my mouth with the words because my brain's not on this morning. Um.
00:12.63
twelve12ministries
Yeah, we're back.
00:23.46
Holly
But we are so glad you're here. We're so excited to talk with you and just share our hearts and what we feel like the Lord's talking to us about. But the first thing we want you to know about is our next event on October fourteenth we have our next refined event at Frisco first you can sign up right now and I think you should um.
00:31.35
twelve12ministries
Ah, yes.
00:40.58
twelve12ministries
Yes, we want to see you. We want to meet you.
00:43.70
Holly
It's going to be amazing. Yes, we want to see you. This is not only an event for you. The person walking through infertility but this is also for your family and your friends walking alongside you Even if you want to bring your mom or your aunt or your next door neighbor. Just anyone that's walking through this journey with you that can help you and encourage you and that.
00:56.91
twelve12ministries
Yeah.
01:02.30
Holly
That wants help navigating it with you. Yes.
01:03.29
twelve12ministries
Absolutely yes, Holly just shared all the things and then two because Holly's mom is going to be there Holly's b f f is going to be there and they are just going to be sharing from the perspective of.
01:12.57
Holly
Um, oh yes.
01:18.58
twelve12ministries
Like Holly's walk how her mom supported her how her bf f supported her. It's going to be just such a great evening and conversation and so that's why I bring your support system because this is an event for everybody.
01:27.52
Holly
Yes, and if so true and if you don't have a good relationship with your mother if your mother's no longer here anything like that I feel like this could be something where the lord could use my sweet little mom to just speak.
01:39.29
twelve12ministries
Yeah.
01:43.37
Holly
Ah, mother's blessing over you or just give you that covering that you might not have just wanted to share that.
01:45.51
twelve12ministries
Yes, Amen also a quick heads up friends is that you don't have to be in the dfw area to attend because we're gonna be streaming as well. So it's going to be in person and virtual. So go check out the show notes and register.
01:54.47
Holly
Yes. So good. Yes, please sign up. It will be a blessing to you and to your friends and your family you should do it.
02:08.81
twelve12ministries
Yeah, come and hang out with us at at refined and so that's what we're talking about today is just being refined and refinement. Um, it's uncomfortable for me I ah.
02:11.88
Holly
Yes.
02:18.86
Holly
Ah, Amen I've been singing that like refined like um that refiner song like I want to be cha. Yeah, all morning I've just I'm like why is that in my head I'm like oh because we're talking about that today.
02:24.99
twelve12ministries
Oh by Maverick City yes because we're talking about yes being refined. Okay, let me just share the definition though really quick of what refined means I think that this is like whatever the the normal dictionary is that I found online.
02:35.65
Holly
Yes, please.
02:43.67
Holly
Um, Webster's got you.
02:44.94
twelve12ministries
You Thank you? Thank you? So this says refine means with impurities or unwanted elements having been removed by processing purified treated developed improved. Oh my goodness.
02:57.85
Holly
That is I didn't realize that it had I like just the I don't know just the positivity of that definition is good. It's good. You think you think ouch Charlie ouch.
03:04.51
twelve12ministries
Yeah, yes because when you think refiners fire like why do I want to sit in the fire.
03:16.79
twelve12ministries
Ah, oh my goodness. Yeah well Holly I want to share this quick verse that we've um, kind of decided about that. It's going to be our verse for for refined um and it's found in job and it says but he knows the way that I take.
03:30.56
Holly
The.
03:32.34
twelve12ministries
When he has tested me I will come forth as gold in I Just think that is such a powerful um first because yes, we can sit in the fire. All of these tests and trials that we are um, experiencing um God doesn't waste anything you know and it.
03:34.97
Holly
That is so good.
03:49.19
Holly
No.
03:52.10
twelve12ministries
Just to form in shape and just turn us into the daughters that he's called us to be.
03:58.36
Holly
That's so good. Yeah I think sometimes I can get in the thought pattern of thinking when you're going through a refining season or something difficult that it's like ah not a punishment but it's like a a negative thing and I think that it is a positive like. It is a difficult season and a difficult situation. But the fact that you're able to walk through it with strength and peace and with only the things. The lord can give you feel like he he knows you can walk through this and he's not going to leave you in it. It's just a good I Love that? okay.
04:19.48
twelve12ministries
Yes.
04:26.14
twelve12ministries
Yeah, okay, but I am but I'm gonna I'm just like all over the place today. So it's okay and so the other night.
04:32.58
Holly
You have a story to tell us. Okay, that's it's fine. Yes.
04:42.39
twelve12ministries
I mean I have so many stories but the other night we were watching the lion king why we were watching the lion king I do not know who you were watching the Lion King and the lord is so kind to just like show me things always like.
04:52.75
Holly
And.
04:57.70
twelve12ministries
Um, he's always showing me things when I'm driving. So I mean I've got construction stories and all that. But what Simba taught me, you know when the enemy tries just to redefine. Oh my gosh. Love you holly.
05:00.32
Holly
Yes.
05:07.44
Holly
Um, yeah education.
05:13.51
twelve12ministries
But when the enemy tries to redefine what god has planned for our life. You know like he he just tries to do that. So that is what Simba showed me is that what can happen when the enemy tries to redefine what god has planned for our life. Um, and I just want to start off in proverbs really quick because you know Proverbs is the bomb I love the passion translation and proverbs seventeen three says in the same way that gold and silver are refined by fire the lord purifies your heart by the test and the trials of life. Ah.
05:48.58
Holly
Man that is so good I'm not going to lie to you. My internet did a trick while you were talking. Can you hear me? Okay, thank you Jesus um I love I love that verse? yes.
05:48.94
twelve12ministries
So good.
05:55.27
twelve12ministries
I can't hear you friend. Yeah I can hear you m yeah okay let me give you just I'm gonna do 4 quick things really fast of what I learned from simba.
06:03.93
Holly
I Think that's so powerful and so necessary for sure.
06:13.43
Holly
Um, so good looking to you are absolutely.
06:15.15
twelve12ministries
And their bible verses and so friends you know we want you to get your bible verse. You know we want you to open your bible. So don't forget write these down and then go check them out but number 1 is just humility so you know how Simba's like when he's when he sings that song going to beat a Mindy key.
06:30.84
Holly
Um, yeah, yes, the soundtrack is gold. Yes.
06:36.31
twelve12ministries
Ah, it's so goal. Ok you guys so we we just need to humble ourselves right? So James Ford 10 in the n I v version says humble yourselves before the lord and he will lift you up right? So I think go I know you have something.
06:46.62
Holly
Um, preach it just like his dad did just like his dad lifted him up. Yeah, there really is just yeah, no, That's wonderful I Love that because I think when you think of Humble you think of. Demotion when really when you do that when you level yourself The lord is going to raise you Up. Go girl I'm with you. Um, hope.
07:01.65
twelve12ministries
Yes, yeah, so good. Raise you up. Okay, so isolation right? So remember when Scar why I don't even know why I remember this So so in detail. But when Scar when Mu Fasa dies. And scars like run away run away and don't come back see.
07:25.69
Holly
Honestly, even even thinking about that makes me get like tears in my eyes because that's so the enemy and I can't even watch the scene with the trampling I can't watch it I can't but yes, go.
07:30.18
twelve12ministries
I know ah I know it's so sad. Okay, but let's talk about ecclesiosities for 9 through 10 This is the NLt version and it says 2 people are better off than one for they can help each other succeed if one person falls.
07:44.56
Holly
Um.
07:48.41
twelve12ministries
Then the other can reach out and help but someone who falls alone is in real trouble so it was like he didn't have anybody with him. He just like let those lies just get into his heart and he dipped out.
07:52.98
Holly
Yes.
08:00.51
Holly
Yes, and I think the enemy takes advantage of that last part but someone who falls alone is in real trouble. The reality is you're never alone. But I think it's easy to think and be deceived by the fact that you feel alone or you feel isolated and I think sometimes that can just.
08:09.55
twelve12ministries
Yes, like you? yes.
08:19.30
Holly
Really good at you. But you're not, You're not alone. He's with you all the time all the time. Oh oh.
08:22.43
twelve12ministries
Um, all the time and then this is one of my favorites remember who you are remember when Simba was all grown up and then he sees whatever the monkey is I can't remember what his name is roughiki or something and he's like remember who you are.
08:34.31
Holly
All I think it was a but that's right.
08:39.67
twelve12ministries
Sees himself in the pool like in the um lake or whatever and he sees his dad you guys we have to remember who we are who god has called as to be and first peter two nine in the Nlt version says but you are not like that for you are chosen people you are royal priest.
08:44.38
Holly
Um, yes.
08:58.62
twelve12ministries
A Holy Nation God's very own possession As a result you can show others the goodness of God for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light. Yeah.
09:08.16
Holly
So good I love that man lying king just really having the biblical truth buried in there just trying to hide it but they can't that's so good. Yeah I think about that too sorry I had 1 thought while you were talking.
09:17.91
twelve12ministries
Ah, real they can't and then just oh go? Sorry yeah.
09:26.49
Holly
Just thinking about that that scene where he like sees his dad and the and the stars or whatever and I think so often we can think like I've seen God do that for them. But I haven't seen him do something like that for me just in any I'm not saying you're going to see God in the stars but you might if you look up in the sky you feel like you're I don't know. Um.
09:30.96
twelve12ministries
It's.
09:39.41
twelve12ministries
Um, yeah, but.
09:44.66
Holly
But I think just to remind yourself even if you might feel like he did that for them. He can't do that for me that is that's not true. He's like established you he really has set you apart and you are his possession. Yes, go girl? yes.
09:50.75
twelve12ministries
Um, yes, yeah, oh come on. Okay, this is my yeah this my last one and then um I want you to cheer your story about a sweet Kenny and going back to school. But this this this last one.
10:04.12
Holly
Oh yes.
10:08.38
twelve12ministries
We have to step into who god you know created us to be so you know finally Simba was like okay I'm going to just put all of this stuff like I'm going to handle it I'm going to deal with them and to process my grief right? And then I'm going to step into the person that god created and of course we have to go to Esther Esther 144
10:20.65
Holly
Um, ah.
10:24.41
Holly
Yes.
10:28.32
twelve12ministries
You know I'm going to read the whole so the whole thing but you know we know that created for such a time as this, but this is the Nlt version and it says if you keep quiet at at time like this deliverance and relief for the jews will arise from some other place but you and your relatives will die.
10:31.87
Holly
Are.
10:45.00
Holly
Um.
10:47.36
twelve12ministries
Who knows if perhaps you were made Queen for such a time as this.
10:51.30
Holly
Yes, I actually have that perhaps you were made for such a time as this on a wooden plaque I bought it like altered state or something but I love that just that reminder that he has set you for this specific time and if you don't choose to fight this.
10:59.27
twelve12ministries
Love it. And.
11:08.83
Holly
Not that someone else will I mean someone else probably is going through something maybe similar but he has set you apart for this time. It's so good I Loved that that was like a little baby sermon. Thank you Ma'am I Loved it very very from the lot leave it to leave it to the Lion king.
11:13.63
twelve12ministries
Yes.
11:20.10
twelve12ministries
From the Lion king.
11:27.41
Holly
All I want to do is sing all the songs to you? Um, okay so I have 2 little things the first one that I shared with you and that you just mentioned was so Kenley started school last week and because of social I like love and hate social media.
11:27.45
twelve12ministries
Ah, please.
11:35.61
twelve12ministries
And.
11:43.91
Holly
But I really like getting those pictures of her with a sign that says like first day of school I love this I want to be this when I grew up whatever and I couldn't find it like the night before school started and I literally looked for 1 hour um I sat on the floor and I could hear my mother in my head telling me like ask the lord.
11:49.54
twelve12ministries
Um.
12:02.35
Holly
Help you find it I'm like sitting on the ground trying not to cry like a toddler and I'm like where is it and I just sat there for a minute and like kept kept looking whatever finally found it. Um, and when I found it I felt like the lord was like what are you like? what are you doing I was like what.
12:02.94
twelve12ministries
Yes.
12:23.00
Holly
I'm trying to find this sign and in that moment I felt like he spoke to me in something that the enemy tries to mess with me in which is because of what we went through to get Kinley if I feel like I don't approach every situation as like the best mom possible which.
12:23.51
twelve12ministries
Um.
12:42.30
Holly
Holding a sign does not matter, but it's not about the sign I just felt like it was something where the enemy was like see like you're You're not good at this or you need to make sure you do the strike because you might not have another kid just like that reel of false falsities I don't know if that's a word.
12:42.21
twelve12ministries
Yeah.
12:51.37
twelve12ministries
Ah.
12:58.32
Holly
Um, but just things that are not true playing in my head where the lord was like no like you need to just enjoy every moment and not not be thinking about what if I don't get to do this again or I need to get this right because I'm not going to get to do this again like that is not from the lord and it's something as simple as a sign like.
13:15.18
twelve12ministries
Um, yeah.
13:16.58
Holly
Actual sign was like it doesn't matter like it's not it doesn't define me as a mom. He's already established me in the place as Kenley's mom whether or not she has a picture holding a sign does not matter that was just like a little thing that I was like what.
13:22.57
twelve12ministries
Um, yes, yeah.
13:30.87
Holly
Why am I feeling so like um I like got emotional about it because I was like I have to do this right? and the Lord's like that. Not for me I don't know where you got that like okay um, ah I don't I Yeah yes so to piggyback on that I Just so often.
13:34.15
twelve12ministries
Ah, yes, right tactics of the enemy friend.
13:47.36
Holly
I can feel that the enemy tries to derail the refining of me as a mom and um because of what we went through to get there I can feel him just creep in with those those lies and those deceptions that are not real that are not true. Um.
13:50.80
twelve12ministries
Yes.
14:02.68
twelve12ministries
Um, yeah.
14:04.60
Holly
But through that I've learned that if he can get you to question your process of refinement he can then begin to redefine you through his deceitful perspective about you and your situation. Um, and I I felt like he so clearly was like that is not for me, you are exactly where I've placed you whether or not you.
14:10.20
twelve12ministries
Ah.
14:12.75
twelve12ministries
Wolf. Yeah.
14:20.59
twelve12ministries
Um.
14:23.97
Holly
Feel like she has the right sign or the right outfit for like princess day at school none of that matters and doesn't define me as a mother and and doesn't derail. Um, just that calling on my life which I'm not saying it mad. Those things are like.
14:27.60
twelve12ministries
And.
14:39.73
Holly
Super heavy. But I think the enemy nit picks and uses tiny things to make us question our process of refinement and then trying to redefine us through something that's not from the Lord does that make sense. Okay, okay.
14:41.25
twelve12ministries
Yeah, and yes, yeah.
14:49.32
twelve12ministries
Through something. Yes, yeah, it did make sense some something else that kind of just popped up I hope it's valid or you know or the same but just you know how we we 2 sometime compare losses.
14:59.95
Holly
Okay, it's valid. Yes, so good.
15:08.51
twelve12ministries
You know and so and and just in that that is like the enemy kind of picking at oh you know your loss is not like you didn't deliver a stillborn baby and you lost you know your baby at six weeks you know so still like the enemy kind of.
15:17.65
Holly
Yeah.
15:25.73
twelve12ministries
Chipping away at that refinement of just like what the lord is doing and we don't have to believe that lie of that the six week person is any less than the you know of of the stillborn and so it's still hard things. It's still hard things that we have to process that the lord is testing us.
15:27.66
Holly
Yes.
15:41.12
Holly
Yes.
15:44.63
twelve12ministries
Putting us through those trials and then you know giving us so much hope so we can just fix our eyes to him. Yeah.
15:49.50
Holly
Yes, absolutely I think this just popped in my head while you were talking I think the enemy tries to make the girl that lost the baby in like the first trimester I think he tries to silence her because if she doesn't share her story and the girl that has had the stillborn.
16:00.36
twelve12ministries
Type.
16:07.96
Holly
Or um has her. Yeah, the girl that's walked through something extremely difficult as well. I think if the girl at the six week didn't share her story of like how the lord redeeemed it who knows what the girl that's walked through the stillborn or the like late term loss like I think if he can silence you and the little things then it yeah I don't know.
16:12.63
twelve12ministries
Um, yeah, um, yeah.
16:27.80
Holly
It just stops that ripple effect which is what he wants to do yeah it just makes me mad that he tries to make us quiet so we can't help each other. It's not nice. Anyways.
16:28.70
twelve12ministries
Stop? Yes, yeah.
16:37.11
twelve12ministries
Ah, it's not nice. Nope I Just want to quickly. Yeah, go back to those? Um, encouraging words that were in the definition of refined you know I think you know to kind of just pull it all together is that it's okay to be purified.
16:45.84
Holly
He asked.
16:55.90
Holly
Yes.
16:56.69
twelve12ministries
It's okay to be treated and developed and improved. You know those those are the processes of of life. Um, and just what god has created down here. Um, and so Noah doesn't feel good. It doesn't look good. It doesn't I mean it just does not feel good at all. Ah, but we really can just sit in it knowing that something else is going to happen from here and that he does not waste anything.
17:16.00
Holly
Um, no.
17:25.85
Holly
Yes, that is so good. Yes, yep I have I've sat with some women that have walked through some things and I feel like that reminding myself he doesn't waste pain or anything you go through and then reminding myself that a loss is a loss no matter when it happened. Um.
17:36.33
twelve12ministries
Um, even.
17:42.83
Holly
Think those are 2 areas that the enemy has a field date with women and tries to be like oh like the Lord wanted you to feel this pain or you know different things that are not accurate. So yeah I'm with you amen amen.
17:45.59
twelve12ministries
Are.
17:52.44
twelve12ministries
Yes, beauty beauty for atches. You know, come on. Okay I want to close though with this one verse really fast because I love this verse this is psalm 66 10 through 12 this is the passion translation and it says oh Lord we have passed through your fire. Like precious metal made pure. You've proved us perfected us and made us holy you've captured us and snared us in your net then like prisoners you placed chains around our Neck. You allowed our enemies to prevail against us.
18:19.20
Holly
Let's get.
18:29.92
twelve12ministries
We pass through the fire and flood yet in the end you always bring us out better than we were before saturated with your goodness.
18:38.15
Holly
Um, yes, that is good that is so good Truly goodness that was I Love that.
18:42.91
twelve12ministries
Thank you Lord for your word. Yeah, so we can be better than before. Yeah.
18:50.85
Holly
Yes I love anytime I see the word goodness I think about that song that goodness of god song and I remember it had just come out after we lost our first baby and I would make myself play it even if in my heart I was like doubting or questioning and I would just cry and I would just be like.
18:56.38
twelve12ministries
Um, okay.
19:03.53
twelve12ministries
Yeah, yes.
19:09.15
Holly
I Know you're good and I like I think that's just the reality of if you really understand God's heart for you. You see his goodness when it doesn't make sense. Um which you can't say to the average American probably but I just feel like if you can proclaim his goodness and see it through fire through flood like.
19:17.40
twelve12ministries
And yeah, um.
19:26.50
twelve12ministries
Yes.
19:28.13
Holly
Verse You just talked about how he will allow you to prevail when it looks like you shouldn't That's all I have for you as please come.
19:34.17
twelve12ministries
Amen I know friends. We want to see you at refined? Um, again October fourteenth and in the meantime just join us in the collective community. We want to hang out with you there. You'll get extra resources from the podcast. Um, amazing. Just like grief and loss resources as well and just all of the things just connecting with other women who have similar stories as yours as we are all just like walking this journey out together.
20:02.32
Holly
Yes, and if it's on your heart to just just forward this along to someone like for the event information along or if you want to give someone a ticket like that would be a great thing to give your friend going through it that might feel like money's tight with treatment or whatever just just do it. Just let the Lord speak and.
20:06.39
twelve12ministries
You know.
20:16.86
twelve12ministries
Me have.
20:21.49
Holly
And help somebody out if it's on your heart to do that. Yeah I grew. Yes.
20:22.33
twelve12ministries
Yes, thanks! Holly love that you guys we will see you next time on the purpose beyond motherhood podcast.
20:28.89
Holly
Yes, see ya.