Hazel's Birth: A Testament to God's Grace and Promise

In this episode of the Purpose Beyond Motherhood podcast, Nicole and Holly return to share personal updates and reflect on God's faithfulness. Nicole recounts her time spent with the Lord and her family during a Sabbath, ready to dive back into ministry work. Holly shares her heartwarming story of her newborn, Hazel, and the redemptive journey that led to her birth. The episode is filled with gratitude and awe as Holly reflects on the peace and presence of God throughout her pregnancy and delivery, offering encouragement to those walking through seasons of waiting and uncertainty.

Episode Highlights: 

• Let’s catch up!
• Holly shares Hazel’s birth story.
• Being a light in the darkness.

Links Mentioned in Episode/Find More on Purpose Beyond Motherhood:

• Twelve 12 Ministries Website
• IG Handle: @twelve12ministries
• Facebook: @twelve12ministries
• Email: info@twelve12ministries.org 
• Visit the Twelve 12 Ministries Shop
• Listen to Holly’s other episode Here!

This show has been produced by Adkins Media Co.

Transcript

Nicole (00:03.885)
Friends, we are back. We're back. It's Nicole and Holly with the Purpose Beyond Motherhood podcast. And we are just so excited to be recording again and just all of the things. We took some time off. I actually just got back from Sabbath, from taking some time away just to seek the Lord.

and spend some time with my family so I'm ready to hit the ground running for all that the Lord has for 12 -12 ministries. So, Holly, hi, welcome back.

Holly (00:35.588)
Woo! Hello. Thank you. Thank you for having me and thank you for giving me time to love on my little baby girl.

Nicole (00:45.465)
my goodness, because you guys, I don't know if you have been listening, okay, but Holly had a sweet baby, the precious baby, Hazel. And so, like she said, she took time to be with her family and to be with Hazel, and so we're back recording. And today we're gonna just be talking about the goodness and the faithfulness of God and just have Holly share a piece of her story about Hazel.

Holly (00:52.548)
I did.

Nicole (01:14.819)
Because again, I say this all the time, you guys, and I mean it. Every time I see her sweet face, like, Hazel reminds me that God keeps his promises and that she is evidence of God's word. You know? It's just like, I'm like, okay, there's evidence that God keeps his promises and he does miracles and he does big things. And so every time I see her, I'm like, thank you, Lord. Thank you for reminding me.

Holly (01:32.666)
Totally.

Holly (01:38.542)
Yes, he does.

Holly (01:42.326)
I feel the same way. just look at her and I'm like, you were all his idea. I was just the vessel that he used to get you here. I mean, shoot, yes, it was such a redemptive and restorative experience from Kenley's was fine. Kind of. Hazel's was much better.

Nicole (02:06.039)
Yeah.

Holly (02:07.17)
I don't want Kinley to ever feel it was still the biggest blessing and I'm very grateful, but just the peace upon this delivery and the prayers. After the first time was rough, you could just like feel the. Peace of the Lord, even in the room. It was crazy. Yeah, you want me to just start chatting it up? OK. Yes.

Nicole (02:28.949)
Yes. Yeah. Okay. And then to you guys, we'll put it in the show notes, but we we've talked with Holly about this. And so you guys can go back and hear just like her journey through through miscarriage and infertility. And then she talks about her birth story with with Kinley. And so again, you guys can go back and hear this. And so it will just be like she said, it's just such a redemptive, you know, kind of story. And we absolutely want to highlight just what the Lord is doing.

Holly (02:58.52)
Amen. Yeah, I am. I had to like jot a few notes down because I have like forgotten exactly how it all went down. But yes, just to just to reiterate what she just said, my first one was dramatic and I was a little bit scared going forward. Hence, my children are five years apart. So.

I was a little apprehensive to go through all of it again, but the Lord definitely, even if he doesn't fully restore your birth to be what you want, he will at least shift things to make it a better experience in some way. You just need to look for those things. Okay. So Hazel, I did an induction, went in on a Friday evening. I kept going in for like checks and I wasn't really progressing much on my own.

And I was like 39 weeks in a few days. And went in, they were like, okay, do you just want to schedule this? Because we were starting to get a little antsy, the whole like water break hospital. That doesn't really happen for people. I don't want to crush anyone's dreams, but it's like 15 % of women actually get to do that. And I was like, I really don't care. I just want a healthy baby. don't really, whatever that looks like, C -section, whatever it is, it's fine. So we go

And they're like, okay, standard protocol. gave me the medicine to start everything. Did my, I don't think they started an IV yet. It was just the medicine. and then the next morning my doctor came in also kind of comical. I told my nurse that my back, I was like, my back hurts. She was like, okay, you're having contractions. And I was like, okay. That's, that's it. I just had no idea. And I'd blocked so much out of my mind. So they.

We go through that evening. They're like monitoring me. Nothing crazy is happening. Just contractions here and there. The next morning my doctor comes in and that's also why I scheduled it. My doctor was a huge reason. I switched doctors from my previous from Kenley's delivery. Not because she did anything wrong. She wasn't even there, but I wanted like a fresh, clean slate. So the man that I saw was Dr. Bertrand at Walnut Hill, Ob -Gen. He's a precious man. And he was like, let's try to make this where I can be there.

Holly (05:16.848)
And I was like, yeah, yes. So he comes in and sees me that Saturday morning after I'd gone in Friday night. And he's like, okay, we're gonna break your water and start Pitocin. I think that was the order he said, truthfully. I'm not sure. They do that, start Pitocin. And then it's like kind of all day I'm having contractions. They're pretty consistent, but nothing like crazy. And then finally, I think they upped

a little bit, but not much. I was maxed out on it with Kenny. With Hazel, was like not even, it wasn't close to being maxed out. I think it was like half or less, which was also very nice. And I had my epidural. That was it. Excuse me. Let's just take a moment for the epidural. They broke my water, did my epidural, then started Pitocin. I want to say maybe that was the order. I totally forgot about that. Can't forget the epidural.

Nicole (06:05.079)
Yep.

Holly (06:16.799)
Um, so then at like 3 PM, they checked me after like waiting all day and kind of increasing it. And I went from a three to a nine within three hours, which I was like, okay. In my mind, I'm like, I don't care. I remember telling my nurse before that. I was like, look, if this needs to be C -section, if I'm not progressing, like let's

She was like, no, he wants to keep waiting. And we were like waiting on him. I felt like her head was about to come out. And then my nurse checked me and was like, yeah, you're a nine. And then I came in, my doctor came in. I didn't come in, my doctor came in. They like prepped the room, which the whole time I'm like battling my mind. I'm like, this is not gonna be like it was. I fell asleep like the hour we were waiting for him to come in our room to deliver the baby, just totally different. I'm like playing worship music.

Nicole (06:46.883)
Holly (07:11.106)
on my phone like jammin'. I played In the Room by Tasha. Combs? Cobbs.

I don't know. It's a great song. He's in the room. That one. Love it. Played that. And John was like, can you turn that down? He was kind of like, needed a moment. And doctor comes in, preps the room. I'm like trying to just get out of my head, which was totally the word that I was even calm in the first place. And he preps it. He's like, all right, let's do it. Like I did a practice push with my nurse. Then my doctor came.

Nicole (07:21.251)
Why am I not thinking of the song? Okay, I believe, yes, I believe you. yes.

Nicole (07:30.854)
You

Holly (07:49.84)
Side note, my nurse, I meant to say this, I could have taken her home with me A, I loved her that much, B, she knew about 1212. She had seen Nicole speak at her church and yeah, was like, wait, she was like the backup dancer for just, I was like, yes, that's Nicole. It was so cool. And she was talking to me about like someone she loved going through infertility. So we got to talk about that. And I just feel

Nicole (07:58.915)
I think that's so cool.

Holly (08:20.098)
In that moment, I always ask the Lord to just like show up in any situation, not just in a delivery, just to like make His presence known. And that was like my little kiss from the King, that moment, because I was like, okay, she's going to like understand, she knew my history of delivery, but now she kind of understands like the heart aspect of it too, not just the like health fear. So she knew it hadn't been like an easy journey for me, but that the Lord had been good to us. Anyways.

loved her and that was just a sweet. was like, how random, I'm like texting people like she knew about 12. Anyways, so that was really cool. But my doctor comes in, the room was prepped. She's still there. My nurse that I was obsessed with and he's like, all right, let's go. I pushed four times and she came out and she did. I think she got some fluid in her lungs, but not like Nick, you or anything. She just had to kind of work it out.

It was like the calmest. I got to pull her out. Sorry, gross to think about that, but my doctor like got her and then he was like, reach down and put your, he was like, put your hands under her arms. Like you got her. And I was like, I didn't even tell my doctor that that was like on my dream list of like delivery things. And then it was just like the calm. I was like in shock of how calm, like the complete opposite of what I had before.

Nicole (09:24.781)
That's sweet, yeah.

Holly (09:45.218)
I'm like crying, John's crying. My parents were there in the waiting room because they're like, we will be at the hospital this time. We will not be at home sleeping. And so it was just like totally the Lord's presence and his peace. And it was like a dream. I told John, I was like, I could do that all day, all day. If that's how I had babies, I would have so many babies, you know.

but that's not where we're at. yes, so it was just a sweet, redemptive, peaceful, you know, I was totally in shock. And John and I both were emotional telling him thank you. And he was like, this is the best, he's like, I don't know how old the man is, but he's an older man. And he was like, this is the best part of what I do. I'm like, you precious soul. So yeah, it was like, I don't even have the words.

Nicole (10:17.217)
I love you, Holly.

Holly (10:41.968)
It felt like I was watching like an out of body experience, just calm, nothing dramatic. I didn't start hemorrhaging. There was no crisis, Grey's Anatomy experience like before where the room fills with people. It was just sweet. So I am all the glory to God that he knew what we needed, that my nurse knew about 1212, that my doctor was there, my husband was good, and I was the most worried about him.

Nicole (10:57.315)
Praise the Lord.

Holly (11:11.352)
Our OB played football at Baylor just like John and his name is John. So they were buddies and he like looked at John and was like fourth quarter. Let's go. Like when I started pushing and like that, he cared about John. It was like everything. So. Which also matches Hazel's personality and how like sweet and chill she is. Because she's just like, I'm here. Hi, let me smile at you.

Nicole (11:25.021)
so, so sweet.

Nicole (11:36.257)
Yeah, she is precious.

Holly (11:39.024)
So there you go, probably gave you more than you ever wanted to know, but.

Nicole (11:41.739)
No, this was great. This was great. I do, can we rewind just a minute and just would love to hear kind of what your heart was walking through, you before delivery. Like what did, what did that look like for you? You know, going through all, all that you have been through.

Holly (12:03.266)
Yeah, you know, I'm I have positivity in my strengths, so I tend to think things are going to turn out really great, even if they're not really that much better. I'll just like try to find the silver lining. I feel like I was just expectant for it to be different, and I I just wanted it to be easier on John and even like my postpartum.

I was just expectant for a change, I guess is really the I was a little bit anxious to be honest. My postpartum with Kenley, I had like MRSA, a breast abscess, a stomach ulcer, all of that going on with Hazel. It's been like kind of seamless at this point. Like I had a little bit struggles breastfeeding, which God bless breastfeed or don't do what works for you. Don't let anyone make you feel bad. But yeah, I think I was just expectant and I was really wanting to see

Nicole (12:50.849)
Mm -hmm. Yeah.

Holly (13:00.474)
the Lord's hand move in such a way that like only he could do that. Because I had a lot of my doctors, not my OB, but like the specialist I saw, he was like, the likelihood of you hemorrhaging is high, but they'll be ready. And I'm like, okay. But that didn't even happen. Like it was, there was no hemorrhaging. My doctor was like, I'll just do this like extra precaution. So yeah, I think I was anxious but expectant for like a shift.

Nicole (13:05.997)
Holly.

Holly (13:30.009)
And that happened.

Holly (13:34.746)
But even it made no sense how calm I was even like as they're prepping the room. Maybe they gave me something I didn't know about. It's possible. But I honestly, I don't think they did. I think it was literally just the Lord. It was like only he could make me be like laughing and falling asleep like an hour before him pushing.

I mean, that's like, I feel like that's not, probably not normal.

Nicole (14:03.555)
Yeah, the Lord, He is so kind. I had to look up this verse because really it just reminds me of Isaiah 43, 19 about doing something new. And this is the amplified version. And it said, listen carefully, I'm about to do a new thing. Now it will spring forth. Will you not be aware of it? I will even put a road in the wilderness, rivers and the desert.

Holly (14:29.156)
I mean, that's what he did for us, truly. Because I mean, in the natural, if I would have let myself, I could have had a field day with what I thought was going to happen. But he was just so good. I said this before, I think I've said it on the podcast, but I was so struggling with like the timing of this transfer because this is our last embryo and we're done. Like we're not going to go through all of it again. But just realizing it's his timetable.

Nicole (14:38.563)
Mm

Holly (14:58.902)
And as much as we think we hold it, when you decide to or not to do your transfer does not deter the family God's made for you. it, obviously if you decided not to do the transfer and you know, and you're having to do IVF, that's a different story. But I'm just talking about like, you don't hold the final product. You hold the tools, but he has to be the one to bless it and to let it

Nicole (15:09.656)
Yes.

Holly (15:26.852)
go forward. So I think I had such a struggle with feeling like I held the timetable and I was in my head about it and like crying and like, what if we were supposed to do? And I had like COVID and our house flooded and all of that when I was like, Lord, make it clear if it's right. and he did. And so I think he's like, Holly, I love you, but like, you're not, you're not the one that establishes your family. No, like you're going to feel like you have somewhat a sense of it, but like you don't.

Nicole (15:48.136)
You're not in control. Yeah

Holly (15:56.122)
So yeah, just that reminder of like, you are the steward, but you're not the giver. Like that kind of sounds confusing, but he's the giver of life and he's the giver of what he has in store for you. No one else can do

Nicole (16:11.199)
Exactly, and we have to steward what he is giving

Nicole (16:18.359)
I love it. Okay, so Holly, then I wanna, can you just share with us really quickly then how can we in a season of either waiting or just in a season maybe of confusion, that word just came to me. So a season of confusion, how can we be expectant in the Lord doing something new in our lives?

Holly (16:45.232)
You know, I feel like I've probably said this before too, but I think the daily surrender of like the before your feet hit the ground in the morning, like Lord, whatever today looks like, I ask you to show up and I ask you to give me peace. Even if it's like you have a consult with a doctor or you have an IUI that day or you're starting your injections or you've started the adoption process. I think identifying the surrender

submitting to that and then just like open -handedly asking the Lord to fill you with the peace to navigate whatever that looks like. I don't think I answered your question. Was that what you just asked? Okay.

Nicole (17:26.551)
No, you did. Yes, yeah. The daily... But those were all great nuggets. But yeah, the daily surrender of just saying like, okay, Lord, this is... I'm here for you. Please Lord, fill me with... Yeah. It is not, yeah.

Holly (17:39.404)
Yes, and it sounds easy, but it's not. I feel like it's such a struggle of, it's just like I envision like a rope pulling game. What do you call it? Tug of war? Yes, I envision that where like you're like anxiety and your fear is on one side and then the Lord's on the other side just like barely just not moving, but holding the rope and he's like, I'm the one not moving. Your fear and stuff is over there trying to like pull me, but like I don't change. I'm not moving.

Nicole (17:52.298)
tug of war? Yeah.

Holly (18:09.794)
I'm right here with you, where we're like sweating trying to hold the rope and he's behind us just steadily holding it. And we're like, we're doing good, right? And he's like, I've been standing here this whole time and you're not actually doing anything. I'm doing it. So I think just that reminder of that surrender piece is so huge. And especially in the world that we live in, because I think we all try to like manpower, especially with infertility and doctors

Nicole (18:15.459)
right. Like I got it, but yeah.

Holly (18:37.786)
feeling like you have to have the answer and it's your body, so why don't you know why? And I still don't know why we never got pregnant naturally. I'm what I mean, that is just what happened. And the Lord has been good to us through other through IVF and all of that. But sometimes that doesn't happen and He leads you a different way. I just think that daily surrender, looking for His hand and trusting it faithfully.

Holly (19:06.724)
And that's about it.

Nicole (19:06.781)
that a lot. And then so practically because I don't want people to you know hear this because I know everybody well sometimes I get caught up in the my goodness as soon as I open my eyeballs I have to like you know have my quiet time with the Lord and I have to have like my coffee with that cute little you know make an Instagram picture and that's like that's not true that's not real you know that's not real.

Holly (19:28.737)
Inter!

No. No.

Nicole (19:35.317)
And so, you know, just giving all of the grace, you know, of just like, yes, even if it's that one moment that you do wake up and you're like, okay, God, or your knees hit the floor and you have three seconds, and then, you know, you're getting up, but just being practical, you know, and realistic, but still making the sacrifice to spend time with the

Holly (19:47.663)
Yeah.

Holly (19:51.279)
Yes.

Holly (19:58.242)
Absolutely. I also feel like maybe some of you, it's like secondary infertility and you're in like the mom zone where you feel like you don't have the time or I don't know. I don't know where you might be at, but I even now I'm like, Lord, I'm so sorry I haven't had like the time that I would have liked, but I'll still ask him to like ask the Holy Spirit to speak to me. I was in the line at Chick -fil -A. The lady that took my order, I was

As soon as we pulled up, felt like the Lord was like, I need you to tell her that I see her today. And I was like, I don't want to do that. And I did it. And she was like, utter shock on her. I was like, I don't know where you stand, but the Lord just told me to tell you. I think I said, I feel like the Lord wanted me to tell you. you never want to, people are like, whoa, when you like start any conversation with that. But I was like that he sees you and he like cares for you. And she was like, I have

think she said like her sister had just passed away and she was in like a faith journey. And she was like, I've been trying to figure out what I believe. And I was like, well, I'm just here to tell you that Jesus cares about you pretty much. And she was like, had like tears in her eyes. Then I start crying. And then I have like screaming Kenny in the back, but, and probably Hazel too. But you just never, even if you don't have the time to like sit down and you're feeling like heavy about it, maybe even ask him to

Nicole (20:55.48)
my goodness, Holly.

Nicole (21:07.799)
He's so dumb.

Holly (21:19.458)
show you someone today that you can love on, even if it's, I don't know. I'm like, even that is an extension of his power and strengthen your faith. It's not a quiet time. I'm not saying it should replace it, but you just never know. And I don't do stuff like that. Like I really don't. I'm always like, the world is a dramatic place and I'm afraid to say a lot of things.

But yeah, just allow yourself to be a vessel. you're going through your day and you're like, I didn't have time today, then maybe ask him to show you a person that you can be an extension of his love towards.

Nicole (21:54.199)
Yes, yeah, that daily surrender. And I don't want to get off on a rabbit trail or hole or something, but I don't know, it just makes me think of serving someone else. I don't even know what verse or chapter this is, please excuse me, theologians. But we want to give and not receive. And so even when we're in that season of waiting or hardship or loss that...

Holly (22:11.022)
Yes.

Holly (22:15.94)
Yes. Right.

Nicole (22:24.023)
that daily surrender, that could be the Lord asking us to speak to someone else, to care for someone else, to really step in the gap for someone else. And so I think that was a beautiful example that you shared.

Holly (22:25.892)
Holly (22:38.088)
I don't I don't know why I shared that, but maybe somebody's feeling scared and they need to speak up. So that's I mean, yeah, it doesn't have to be any like profound scripture prophetic word over their life. It can literally just be like God willing, we tell you that he sees you and you never know what that's going to do for someone.

Nicole (22:58.409)
Exactly. It's a smile. It's a, you know, hello, because I don't know about you, but I'm walking down the street and like nobody will make eye contact. I'm like, do you see me? Do you see? I'm like, let's smile.

Holly (23:02.767)
Yes.

Holly (23:08.388)
No, I don't know if you do this too. I'm like, walk past people and I'm like, hi. I just like, whisper. I'm like, why did I do that? I don't even know them. And I'll just be like, hello. And it's like really quiet and like they didn't, I don't know them, but I think that explains why Kenley will be like, I'm gonna go play it with her. I'm like, we don't know them.

Nicole (23:32.18)
She's like, mom, I'm going. There's a new friend over there.

Holly (23:35.953)
Yes, but yeah, I think everybody is in need of feeling seen and loved. even if they tell you even believers that are super strong believers, like they still need that reminder of God seeing them and loving on them and all of that. So yes, even like your nurse in your clinic, you never know. You never know.

Nicole (23:41.249)
Yes.

Nicole (23:55.587)
So good, thanks Holly. Yeah.

Holly (24:03.088)
So there you go. Love on some people.

Nicole (24:05.667)
Love on some people, even if you're walking through some hard times. So love on some people, do a daily surrender and go read Isaiah 43 .19.

Holly (24:09.368)
Yeah, yes.

Holly (24:14.788)
Amen.

That was good. I like how you tied a bow on that because I don't ever tie good bows on them. I'm always like, and choo choo choo choo choo choo choo.

Nicole (24:19.779)
you

Nicole (24:24.001)
I was channeling my inner Christy.

Holly (24:26.852)
Nicole, that was good. Just like my mama. You were finding that thread and lacing it through all the way to the end.

Nicole (24:36.107)
Yes, shout out to Christy Penn, keys of truth. We love

Holly (24:39.898)
Keys of truth. Love you, mom.

Nicole (24:43.235)
Yes. Holly, but thank you for sharing your story. You guys, we are moving to like a new flow. I don't even know if we talked about this the last time, but we have seven episodes back to back. So they're going to be coming out on a weekly basis. So we're going to get to connect with you and all the things. And so just excited for the season, excited for what the Lord is doing.

Holly (24:45.582)
Okay.

Nicole (25:08.675)
and through 1212 ministries and if you need anything at all, we are here for you. I love how Holly too said that everybody, you know, wants to be seen and loved and heard and we are here for you guys.

Holly (25:23.276)
Amen. Find us, follow us. We want to be your friend.

Nicole (25:25.823)
Okay. Yes, I love that. Find us, follow us, we want to be your friend. And then check us out on weare1212 .org and we will see you guys next week.

Holly (25:38.202)
I have it turned off, it's fine.

Holly (25:44.068)
I literally have it closed